Is imposter syndrome causing you to overwork?

I want to start off by saying a massive thank you to all of you who have subscribed to this newsletter - I cannot believe there are already over 700 of you! 

It has been incredible to receive positive feedback on my first post where I speak about experiencing imposter syndrome as a woman in tech and it's given me the encouragement to keep up the momentum. 

Now that’s out of the way - let’s get into things!

I’ll start by defining what imposter “syndrome” is. 

Originally coined as  “the imposter phenomenon” by Dr Pauline Clance (1985) from her observations in a clinical setting, there seems to be varying definitions of what it actually means. 

The impostor “syndrome” refers to the notion that some individuals feel as if they ended up in esteemed roles and positions not because of their competencies, but because of some oversight or stroke of luck.

For simplicity, throughout the series of the Imposters Methods newsletter, I’ll be referring to this phenomenon as the commonly used term, imposter “syndrome”.

From Clance’s research, she observed six different characteristics of imposter syndrome and we will be covering them all in this newsletter. 

In this edition, we are covering the Superwoman/man type. 

This type refers to individuals often seen to be workaholics, with one of the driving forces being that they feel like an imposter so they work harder in order to feel like they measure up. 

They may be ones to be working longer hours, feeling stressed when not working, sacrificing hobbies and passion to prioritise work and feeling pressured to prove their worth to colleagues. 

I have certainly experienced this form of imposter syndrome. I remember when I landed an internship and I was ready, pumped, and rearing to make an impact. 

On my first day, it was abundantly clear that the person I was replacing was a high performer, well known in the company and delivered results.

It was intimidating.

I felt like not only did I need to measure up to the standard he set, but also I placed all my value on my ability to deliver, so I adopted an approach that led me to work at an unsustainable rate.

I exceeded expectations, I got the results, but I also set myself to unrealistically high standards and burnt out throughout the process.

Clance found that those who saw themselves as imposters often felt overwhelmed, disappointed, and overgeneralised themselves as failures when they were unable to reach their goals. 

The pressure I put on myself comes from various places, but one thing that plays in my mind was being told that I needed to work twice as hard to get half of what my white counterparts would get.

That, combined with not wanting to look like I was just a diversity hire, added to this feeling of being an imposter - even though I was known for delivering, was getting great feedback from my manager, I couldn’t help but think it was because I was overworking & due to luck. 

Here are 3 bits of advice I would give myself at that period of time:

1. Create your wins tracker - it can be so easy to have the wins, but then to not internalise them and pass it off as nothing. Unfortunately, because of that feeling of being an imposter, I didn’t have the confidence to ask for a salary that I felt I was worth and also felt like I hadn’t achieved enough to warrant it. But I had those wins, and a wins tracker to document all the things both big and small is a great way to start to build a case for yourself.
   
2. Assessing a sustainable rate of working - I was working at such a pace, that I was relieved that the internship was just 3 months. I would warn myself that working at such a rate, will go from being amazing, to a new standard, and when I started to work at a “normal” level, it can be seen as underperformance (but mostly, that health is a priority - I would have cared more about being seen as underperforming though). Take the time to find a level that works for you but also means you get your tasks done in a reasonable time, you should NOT feel too burned out to enjoy your weekend - you gotta live girl!
   
3. Not comparing where I don’t compete - I was comparing myself to those who had 5+ years of experience, and I barely had 2 months worth. I saw people eating lunch and working without taking a proper break so I thought I needed to do the same. I thought I had to be as good as my manager, but that is an unrealistic goal, I would read the room and consciously remind myself about my experience level compared to those I was working with. 
   
4. (BONUS): Remove work related things (Slack, access to emails, etc) on personal mobile phone!!!!

IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: The thing about imposter syndrome, is that it puts all the blame on the individual. 

I would highly recommend reading “Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome”, the authors write that imposter syndrome puts the blame on individuals, without accounting for the historical and cultural contexts that are foundational to how it manifests in both women of colour and white women. 

I’ll be getting more into this in a few issues!

So the million dollar question, is imposter syndrome causing you to overwork?

Until next time,

Amber