Is social media making you feel worse?

We don’t speak about the impact that social media has on our self-esteem enough. With a majority of us using social media on a daily basis, and studies showing that Gen Z and Millennials spend an average of three hours a day on it - let’s talk about it.

On a conscious level, I’m sure most of us agree that social media tends to present a perfectly curated collection of highlights of someone’s life, and it isn't totally reflective of that person’s reality. However, when we are in the moment, mindlessly scrolling through, it’s easy to take it for face value. Comparison can set in and we may start to feel envious or dissatisfied with our own lives.

This is especially true when going through a tough time. When I was struggling at university, there was a time when I didn’t think I would graduate. I saw people on LinkedIn in their graduation pictures and it filled me with anxiety. I had panic attacks that I wouldn’t graduate and what that would mean for my future. To me, it seemed everyone else was smart enough and capable of graduating, why wasn’t I good enough to? The anxiety became so bad that I decided to temporarily delete LinkedIn and other socials.

I often have similar conversations with my friends about how social media makes us feel like we have to do extra things outside of work to be successful, to look a certain way, and to have a problem-free life. It adds a whole new pressure when we feel like “everyone” else is doing so amazing and we aren’t, sometimes we’re just about able to do the basics, the bare minimum.

Have you heard of the toxic productivity trap? Toxic positivity is the false belief that our self-worth is measured by our productivity. This puts pressure on us to constantly be productive and is a one-way ticket to burnout! Been there, done that - still in burnout recovery (I’ll write about this in another newsletter article).

It also links to the concept of toxic positivity. According to verywellmind, toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralised extreme. This attitude doesn't just stress the importance of optimism—it also minimises and even denies any trace of human emotions not strictly happy or positive.

When we see other people’s lives that appear to be perfect, it can put pressure on us to also have a perfect life. It’s an unfair comparison, the reality is - shit happens!

If social media is making you feel bad about yourself, I’d encourage you to limit the time you spend on it, utilise the mute or unfollow button, and focus on content that uplifts and resonates with you. Most importantly, take time to check in with yourself and connect with loved ones outside of the digital realm.

I’m here to encourage you to practice some self-compassion. According to self-compassion.org, self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognise that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.

It’s important that you work out for yourself what content you find inspiring, enjoyable or funny, rather than what just makes you feel worse about yourself.

Comparison is similar to driving a car on a motorway and you’re looking left and right at other people’s journeys, what car they have, how fast they are going, what route they’re taking etc. Eventually, you’ll crash, it’s so important to focus on your own journey.

The more conversations you have with people about this, the more you’ll realise that you’re not alone in feeling the pressure of social media. I’d love to know your thoughts, what’s your relationship like with social media?