Is having imposter syndrome a good thing?

Some people may argue that having imposter syndrome is a good thing because it means you're stepping out of your comfort zone, and you're experiencing growth.

And I agree to a certain extent.

In cases where you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone - it’s normal to have some feelings that come from having imposter syndrome. At this point, it can be reframed as a positive sign that you’re challenging yourself and growing.

The reality is that you can't get the evidence that you're good at it before you start. For example, you can't say you're a good coder before you've taken a single lesson or written your first line of code.

And when it comes to that first lesson, and first few lessons, you can feel out of your comfort zone, doubt & anxiety may creep in, and you may believe that you are in fact an imposter because it's challenging.

Whereas the reality is that you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, it's perfectly normal to initially struggle at first and continue to. Especially as a person working in tech, we are constantly learning, breaking things, and reading error messages.

I do want to be as balanced as possible, and I feel like I'm generally balanced right? ... RIGHT??!!!! Ok folks, I'm a work in progress - I'm trying.

The feelings & thoughts that arises from imposter syndrome can lead you to having a fear of failure.

Think of how many times you have intentionally avoided doing something because the fear of failure overwhelmed you.

Sometimes, we can avoid going after what we want & taking the steps to see it through because it's easier not to try than to try and fail.

In these situations, it can be more comfortable to stay in environments & situations that are familiar to us because it feels safe. So this, is when I cannot argue that imposter syndrome is a good thing.

Guess which type of imposter syndrome we will be covering today, it's the one and only... perfectionist.

It has been found that the perfectionist types of imposters set “excessively high, unrealistic goals and then experience self-defeating thoughts and behaviours when they can‟t reach those goals” (Kets de Vries, 2005).

It's important to note that there is a big difference between a healthy pursuit for excellence, and an unhealthy pursuit for perfection.

Perfectionists tend to discount positive feedback, because they think they could have done better to align with their excessively high standards.

Brene Brown describes perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: 

"If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame."

It will come as no surprise to those who know me well that I am a perfectionist. In the past (and still to this day but not as much), the perfectionistic tendency would lead me not only to procrastinate, but to not go after the things that I truly wanted to do.

I'd say things like, I'll start posting more on LinkedIn once I stop feeling so anxious about it, or I'll go to networking events once I feel "ready" for it.

On top of that, if I made a mistake e.g. when I was presenting and had a mind blank, I would start to think I was a complete failure, focusing on all the things I did wrong/badly and would wish the Earth would swallow me up.

I realised just how much other people's perception of me took a toll on my self esteem and mental health. Something that has personally helped me is to recognise that I don't know what someone is thinking of me.

For example, if I'm asked a question, and I don't manage to answer it to the high standards that I would have liked, I would assume that the person on the receiving end must think I'm not smart and an imposter.

Now, through time, I have learned not base my self worth on the approval of others. So instead of blaming myself and jumping to the conclusion that this person must think *all the worst things* about me, I am able to step back and recognise & appreciate that I am a work in progress, I cannot do everything perfectly and taking the opportunity to see a learning lesson in the experience.

To wrap up this article, let's talk about a three unhelpful thinking styles that are common in people with perfectionism:

To note before we delve in: I am not a trained or licensed therapist, I'm sharing things that I have found from research & thought I'd share it with you folks! Let's dive in...

Black and white thinking

This thinking style involves seeing only one extreme or the other, leaving no room for shades of grey. This may look like seeing yourself as a great success when things go well, or a huge failure when things may not be going quite how you planned.

Mental filter

This thinking style involves focusing on on part and ignoring the rest, usually by focusing on the negative parts of a situation and forgetting the positive parts.

For example, getting feedback from a manager and focusing on the one bit of critical feedback, rather than all the positive things.

Catastrophising

Catastrophising occurs when we think or anticipate that an event in our life is a complete disaster with devastating consequences.

For example, if you made one mistake on a presentation at work, believing that everyone will notice, and you'll be fired for it.

I had a feeling this one would be a long one, and I've actually tried to keep it sort. You can read more about unhelpful thinking patterns with some steps on how to help here

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one!

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Until next time,

Amber

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